Bullying can have serious and lasting consequences for everyone involved including the child being bullied, those who witness the behaviour, and even the child who is doing the bullying. Both short-term and long-term effects have been strongly linked to bullying, ranging from mental health challenges and low self-esteem to substance abuse as a coping mechanism, and in the most severe cases, suicide.

It is essential to talk openly with children to understand whether bullying or another underlying issue may be affecting them. International schools in Bangkok generally take bullying very seriously and often outline clear policies and procedures in their school handbooks. However, no school is completely immune. Bullying can occur in any environment, and no one school or system is more affected than another. Incidents may vary from year to year and from school to school, which is why all cases should be reported as soon as possible to prevent situations from escalating.

Bullying at Home

Before focusing on bullying that happens at school or during extracurricular activities, it’s important to recognise that bullying can also take place at home. In some cases, this can be even more damaging, as it comes from people a child should feel safest with and it is often harder to detect.

Research has shown that siblings can sometimes be responsible for persistent bullying, shaming, or name-calling, and in the most concerning cases, parents themselves may contribute. Emotional manipulation and bullying are becoming increasingly common, particularly among so-called “helicopter parents.” Examples include shaming children for average academic results, forcing them to participate in sports because an older sibling excelled, or pushing them into performances or activities they fear, such as public speaking.

School counsellors and therapists report a growing number of students who feel pressured into choosing subjects or career paths they have no genuine interest in, simply to meet parental expectations or societal standards. Another troubling pattern is parents pushing children to fulfil dreams they themselves did not achieve, or pressuring them into constant overachievement to compete with peers.

Ironically, this intense pressure often leads to academic disengagement, emotional burnout, and in some cases contributes to the alarming rates of teen suicide. It is important to remember that the emotional impact of bullying is the same, regardless of where it originates.

Kids Who Are Bullied

For a child experiencing bullying, the effects can quickly consume every aspect of their life. These children may face physical, social, emotional, academic, and mental health challenges, and are more likely to experience:

Depression and anxiety, including persistent sadness, loneliness, changes in sleeping or eating habits, and loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed. These effects can continue into adulthood and impact self-esteem long-term.

Physical health complaints, particularly stomach problems, headaches, or migraines, often linked to stress, anxiety, disrupted sleep, or poor eating habits.

Declining academic performance, including lower grades, reduced participation, and school avoidance. Children may frequently miss school, skip classes, or in extreme cases, drop out entirely because they feel unable to cope.

Substance use, such as smoking, alcohol, or drugs, as a way to escape emotional pain.

In very rare cases, retaliation through extreme violence. Studies show that in 12 out of 15 school shooting incidents over the past two decades, the perpetrators had a history of being bullied highlighting the urgent need for earlier identification and intervention.

Kids Who Bully Others

Children who bully others are often struggling with feelings of powerlessness or lack of control in their own lives. Without healthy ways to manage these emotions, some seek control by harming others physically or emotionally.

Children who witness aggression, conflict, or harmful behaviour at home may replicate what they see in school environments. While the psychology behind bullying is complex and widely debated, it is also true that some children act out simply because they can.

There is no excuse for bullying in any form. In some cases, confronting a bully may stop the behaviour, but this is often unrealistic or unsafe for younger children especially when bullying involves groups. This reinforces the importance of reporting bullying early.

If unchecked, children who bully are more likely to continue harmful behaviours into adulthood. Research shows they are more likely to:

• Abuse alcohol or drugs during adolescence and adulthood

• Engage in physical fights, vandalism, and drop out of school

• Begin sexual activity at an early age

• Have criminal records or repeated traffic violations as adults

• Become abusive toward partners, spouses, or their own children

• Patterns of bullying behaviour can persist if not addressed early.

The Bystanders

Bystanders have the potential to play a powerful role in stopping bullying. When children who are being bullied feel supported and defended by their peers, they experience lower levels of anxiety and depression. Studies show that when bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds more than half the time.

However, many children are unsure how to respond when they witness bullying. Bystanders typically fall into one of several roles:

• Defenders: Children who step in, offer support, or seek help for the person being bullied.

• Outsiders: Those who witness bullying but choose not to get involved, often due to fear or uncertainty.

• Reinforcers: Children who encourage the bully by laughing, cheering, or supporting the behaviour.

• Assistants: Those who actively help the bully, such as blocking the victim from leaving or joining in the harassment.

As parents, most of us hope our children will grow up to be defenders. That mindset begins at home, and it’s never too early to have conversations about empathy, courage, and standing up for others. Bullying can happen at any stage of life, and having someone stand beside you can make all the difference.

Bullying and Suicide: Understanding the Connection

Media coverage often draws a direct link between bullying and suicide. While bullying does increase risk, it is important to understand that most children who are bullied do not experience suicidal thoughts or behaviours.

Suicide risk is complex and influenced by many factors, including depression, trauma, challenges at home, identity struggles, and lack of support. Bullying alone is rarely the sole cause, but it can significantly worsen an already vulnerable situation, particularly when children do not feel supported by parents, peers, or schools.

Early intervention, open communication, and strong support systems remain the most effective ways to protect children and reduce harm.